Tag Archives: positivity

Why is the world just one big problem to solve?

I cannot begin to tell you the endless amount of problems I seem to make for myself lately. Which as a result, seems to send my mood in a sky rocketing downfall. But sometimes, I am not entirely to blame. Shall I tell you why?

Things which happen in my day-to-day lifestyle, tend to make me quite upset. Today for example, was probably one of the most upsetting days for me and  for once it wasn’t me which had caused it.

I began to notice what type of world we live in.

I see it everyday, it is just some days I chose to ignore it. Doesn’t everyone?

The endless amount of people, so engrossed into their own lives (including myself).  Mothers and fathers  who are too busy on their phones to notice their children exploring and finding themselves. Men and women constantly oppressing each other, and setting stereotypes for the other to follow. Just today, whilst I was working- a man had asked me to explain to a young boy, no older than six, why flavoured lip balm was for girls. I simply couldn’t do it. I couldn’t look the boy in the eyes and tell him that he couldn’t get something his sister was getting simply because it was a belief that he couldn’t.

Why do we do that as a society? We ask children what they want to be when they grow up, but we set them rules and standards which they have to adhere to. This wasnt lip gloss, or lipstick it was lip balm. A coca-cola flavoured lip balm. But, so what if it was? At age 6 the mind is so open. He just wanted to be included with his sister.

Gender equality is just the tip of the iceberg of problems which we are choosing to ignore. Racial discrimination, environmental issues, wars and the list could continue to go on and on.

What bothers me is that when did it become so normal to be so self indulged? For once, I’d like to hear something good. Maybe it’s me just focusing on the negatives, but I just see a world where children are wishing their childhoods away, wanting to grow up without realising that experiencing childhood is what makes you do exactly that. Maybe they do so because they have parents which are too controlling or neglectful forcing them to grow up way earlier before their time.Or just maybe they actually have a perfect family, but society tells them they aren’t perfect. I see a world where women and men still aren’t equal in society, and people chose to view a feminist as a misandrist or misogynist. I see a world where even still, people are frowned upon because of their ethnicity or class. I see a world where countless numbers of animal species are becoming extinct and global warming is taking its toll but then I also see people who are still choosing to be blissfully ignorant to all the above. I see a world that will not last much longer as we are fuelling is with hatred rather than compassion and love.

So sometimes when people tell me:

“You control your own happiness!”

Just know that is truly not the case. I am one of those people, I think we all are or have been at some point. The first step is noticing that there are changes to be made.

Why are romantic relationships all everyone ever talks about?

It hit me the other day. Sitting down on a bench, eating my lunch on my break- watching the endless crowds of people rush by. Everyone is always so emersed in their own worlds.

Everywhere I looked, the focus was on love. Couples holding hands, kissing, hugging, buying gifts for each other. Then again, it was the month of Valentines.

But why is the focus always on romantic relationships and encounters?

Even the single people complain about not having romance during February- but there are so many things which are so important for you to have in your life. Don’t get me wrong, being in a relationship gives you a great sense of fulfilment. But to give everything to a relationship- you need to be in a sound state of mind.

And I can tell you if you are missing the following- it is almost impossible to achieve.

Support: Support is key from EVERY angle. Work, education, family life, friend circle or wherever can provide it. Without support, we can almost certainly become extremely isolated- not only physically with others, but with oneself.

Family: It is how families are supposed to naturally work, there is a person whoever that may be a mother, father, sibling or even grandparents who should be able to give you some sort of influence in your life. A family is a big part of how we grow as a person, without it can seriously affect your emotional well-being. If there are any current issues in your family life, however big or small, think long and hard about it. Holding hatred is so much more work than accepting love.

Social life: This is essential. I cannot express this enough. Sometimes to go forward in social scenarios, we must put ourselves out there, for me that is so hard. Exposing my true self, makes me feel so vulnerable! But the more I do it, the easier it gets.

Physical exercise: Is something I am seriously lacking, due to a current lack of motivation. But it is a great time to clear your head and release endorphins which literally make you feel refreshed afterwards. Start small, 15 minutes and work yourself up.

Goals and aspirations: Set the tiniest of goals to give yourself some self-pride! However small they are, they eventually lead to bigger goals. Any step forward is progress.

Direction: Question yourself. Where do you want to be in a year? 2 years? 5 years? You have the power to change your life, the only person stopping yourself from changing is yourself.

 

Why New years resolutions are probably the most belittling time of year.

“New year, new me” is probably a phrase you will hear too often, from people who evidently don’t learn from any mistakes or life lessons which they receive. I personally look at January in a completely different perspective, I see it as a time of reflection of my previous year; rather than wanting to be a completely different person than I was in the last.

I tend to focus on what happened that year, good or bad, and see how I reacted to each situation. I commend myself for my growth each year because that is the only way I can move onwards in my life. Each year is a gift, which many of us take for granted. Don’t focus on changing yourself, but rather changing some aspects of yourself.

What did I achieve?

2016 for me was probably the hardest year yet, certain family issues were fresh from 2015 as my Dad had walked out on me and my Mum in late December. Things were certainly hard, it was a whole new learning curve for me! I was living with my Mum, in a country which we had no-one- I was ultimately alone.

I had never had a good relationship with my Father, it hurt, him leaving but what hurt most was seeing my mum so down for so long. I felt responsible for it all, sometimes I still do. However, I would not change anything which happened. That year allowed my Mum to escape a very toxic relationship, and have a shot at happiness. I genuinely thought for years, that would be something she would never obtain.

As the year progressed, things perked up. Mum started smiling more, and things began looking up for me too. I had started my last two years at high school, I had great friends, a boyfriend which I adored and I wasn’t so alone anymore. It was still a tender subject to mention my Dad, but I was being introduced to a Mum I wasn’t used to, a happier one. This life seemed to be one I had desperately wanted since I was a child, there wasn’t a need to pretend to be happy anymore- I genuinely was.

Seven perfect months flew by, that was until we had to move from Australia. A place which I had grew to love unconditionally, a place which I had spent half of my life. Things felt worse, my world was ripped from beneath me. I am still learning how to cope with the change, adjusting to the country, making new friends, being away from the old ones and being away from my boyfriend, too.

I don’t have the support which I had so desperately leant on for the past eight months, so for me personally, 2017 will be one of progress.

I certainly don’t wish to be a new me, because, despite all of that, each heartbreak and lesson I endured allowed me to be the person I am today.

So please remember, each year you are blessed with is an accomplishment. Reflect on how far you’ve come, and plan to where you want to go. Don’t build yourself DOWN by focusing solely on your flaws, but build yourself UP by accepting them. Use them to encourage yourself throughout the new year and more importantly, use them to grow as a person.

Much love.