Tag Archives: notsosweetsixteen

Why are romantic relationships all everyone ever talks about?

It hit me the other day. Sitting down on a bench, eating my lunch on my break- watching the endless crowds of people rush by. Everyone is always so emersed in their own worlds.

Everywhere I looked, the focus was on love. Couples holding hands, kissing, hugging, buying gifts for each other. Then again, it was the month of Valentines.

But why is the focus always on romantic relationships and encounters?

Even the single people complain about not having romance during February- but there are so many things which are so important for you to have in your life. Don’t get me wrong, being in a relationship gives you a great sense of fulfilment. But to give everything to a relationship- you need to be in a sound state of mind.

And I can tell you if you are missing the following- it is almost impossible to achieve.

Support: Support is key from EVERY angle. Work, education, family life, friend circle or wherever can provide it. Without support, we can almost certainly become extremely isolated- not only physically with others, but with oneself.

Family: It is how families are supposed to naturally work, there is a person whoever that may be a mother, father, sibling or even grandparents who should be able to give you some sort of influence in your life. A family is a big part of how we grow as a person, without it can seriously affect your emotional well-being. If there are any current issues in your family life, however big or small, think long and hard about it. Holding hatred is so much more work than accepting love.

Social life: This is essential. I cannot express this enough. Sometimes to go forward in social scenarios, we must put ourselves out there, for me that is so hard. Exposing my true self, makes me feel so vulnerable! But the more I do it, the easier it gets.

Physical exercise: Is something I am seriously lacking, due to a current lack of motivation. But it is a great time to clear your head and release endorphins which literally make you feel refreshed afterwards. Start small, 15 minutes and work yourself up.

Goals and aspirations: Set the tiniest of goals to give yourself some self-pride! However small they are, they eventually lead to bigger goals. Any step forward is progress.

Direction: Question yourself. Where do you want to be in a year? 2 years? 5 years? You have the power to change your life, the only person stopping yourself from changing is yourself.

 

To first go forward, sometimes we must go back.

Coming to terms with something is a thing I don’t particularly struggle with, I take it in my stride (as much as possible). For me, if something happens which you can’t control, then there is literally nothing you can do but try and work a way around it. That is something which I do too much, I over plan things. I will have countless back up plans, for my back up plans. Which in turn, leads me to over analyse. Every. Single. Thing. 

Me to myself daily:

“Okay, if I leave two hours early, I will definitely be on time!”

“Check the change you have for the bus, bring extra money in case it is more” (even though it is the same price every day)

“If they don’t show, I will just go to this shop”

However, I know a lot of people are like me not only in that essence, but in the regard that: once something happens, it is never spoke of again. 

Which is genuinely the WORST thing to do- only now have I realised that. There are so many people, who would have experienced something similar, or at least a few who have experienced the feelings that you feel.

Personally, I feel that speaking about things allows you to achieve some sort of closure to the feelings that end up repressed inside ourselves. Let it all out, no thought or feeling should be enclosed within your mind. Otherwise, it will continue to eat away at you.

I should of realised it sooner, but it has took me a while to find my feet during my transition from Australia, back to my home town, England. I lived there basically half my life, so moving back felt like I was literally leaving half of my self behind in the process. 

I felt alienated. Not because people didn’t make me feel welcome, but because I genuinely didn’t recognise who I was anymore. I desperately craved normality, even now I still find myself wishing I had that.

People stopped mentioning Australia. People stopped mentioning the friends I grew so close to over the eight year period. Which to me, made it so much worse! It felt like I had imagined the whole eight years, that I had imagined the person I had worked so hard to be. Nothing is worst than being forced to move on from something which you adore so much, if that’s a loved one, a school or even a food which they stopped selling (missing the McDonald’s breakfast is always a hard one, too)

Whatever hardship, emotion or thought comes your way, which you feel is important: talk about it. Whether it be to me, a friend, a family member or even write yourself a letter. Repressing feelings is literally the worst thing I could of achieved, the only thing to come out of it is regret.

Just like an arrow, sometimes we have to be pulled back to shoot forward. You just have to enable yourself to do so. 

 

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The Great Depression.

My life is currently a literal binary opposition as the one listed above. But, it has driven me to the point where the only form of enjoyment I currently get out of life is writing, even then I barely have the energy to do that. Not because I am an athlete (I was! Not anymore), or even because I have a chronically busy schedule.

It is because I am going through an episode of depression! Lately, it has been extremely hard to actually learn that- it is nobodies fault: including my own.

So I thought maybe some others could relate with my cynical, sarcastic thoughts which whirl around my headspace 24/7.

It is extremely funny to be honest, how each and every person I speak to tries to humour me with a pathetic quote about life- which usually offers minimal comfort whatsoever. Yes I am sixteen.

I am aware I “haven’t lived yet”.

No, I don’t just “need to get out more”. 

It is literally like everyone thinks that life is MEANT to be kind to everyone, it isn’t. But again, that is okay.

Nobody sets out a plan for you, you are quite literally completely out of control of whatever happens to you. However, to be quite frank though- that doesn’t seem to bother me as much as people who genuinely believe that I can change what happens to me. I think it’s time people start to accept the fact, some people are going to be depressed. That is okay too, but what isn’t okay is telling people that they aren’t.

I am totally not saying: life is out of your control, so don’t bother.

What I am saying is that: no matter how much you plan, prepare or work for something- sometimes things won’t go your way. And accepting that is probably one of the hardest lessons I have been faced with.

The literal only thing I can control is my attitude, and lately that doesn’t seem to be going well at all.

I am a teenager. It is hard enough to control the raging hormones and constant mood swings I have tweaking my mood, without the constant atomic bombs life seems to be dropping at me lately.

I cannot tell you the amount of times I disgust myself, crying that life is unfair while there are many people SO much worse off than I am. But I can’t help it. I wish I could, honestly. This world is full of people who need help so desperately, but lately my mood seems to plummet- which isn’t much help for anyone is it?

So I figured maybe there are people who can relate to me, my feelings and my thoughts. And just maybe there are people who can benefit from them.

I am going to let you have an insight to my journey- all of it: the past, the present, the hopes for the future and each milestone I achieve (however small). Not only to help myself, but to give some hope for others too.

Teenage years are the most bittersweet years you will ever experience, they help shape you into the person you are today and most importantly: the person you will be. 

So here it is. My blog.