Tag Archives: negativestopostives

Why are romantic relationships all everyone ever talks about?

It hit me the other day. Sitting down on a bench, eating my lunch on my break- watching the endless crowds of people rush by. Everyone is always so emersed in their own worlds.

Everywhere I looked, the focus was on love. Couples holding hands, kissing, hugging, buying gifts for each other. Then again, it was the month of Valentines.

But why is the focus always on romantic relationships and encounters?

Even the single people complain about not having romance during February- but there are so many things which are so important for you to have in your life. Don’t get me wrong, being in a relationship gives you a great sense of fulfilment. But to give everything to a relationship- you need to be in a sound state of mind.

And I can tell you if you are missing the following- it is almost impossible to achieve.

Support: Support is key from EVERY angle. Work, education, family life, friend circle or wherever can provide it. Without support, we can almost certainly become extremely isolated- not only physically with others, but with oneself.

Family: It is how families are supposed to naturally work, there is a person whoever that may be a mother, father, sibling or even grandparents who should be able to give you some sort of influence in your life. A family is a big part of how we grow as a person, without it can seriously affect your emotional well-being. If there are any current issues in your family life, however big or small, think long and hard about it. Holding hatred is so much more work than accepting love.

Social life: This is essential. I cannot express this enough. Sometimes to go forward in social scenarios, we must put ourselves out there, for me that is so hard. Exposing my true self, makes me feel so vulnerable! But the more I do it, the easier it gets.

Physical exercise: Is something I am seriously lacking, due to a current lack of motivation. But it is a great time to clear your head and release endorphins which literally make you feel refreshed afterwards. Start small, 15 minutes and work yourself up.

Goals and aspirations: Set the tiniest of goals to give yourself some self-pride! However small they are, they eventually lead to bigger goals. Any step forward is progress.

Direction: Question yourself. Where do you want to be in a year? 2 years? 5 years? You have the power to change your life, the only person stopping yourself from changing is yourself.

 

Why New years resolutions are probably the most belittling time of year.

“New year, new me” is probably a phrase you will hear too often, from people who evidently don’t learn from any mistakes or life lessons which they receive. I personally look at January in a completely different perspective, I see it as a time of reflection of my previous year; rather than wanting to be a completely different person than I was in the last.

I tend to focus on what happened that year, good or bad, and see how I reacted to each situation. I commend myself for my growth each year because that is the only way I can move onwards in my life. Each year is a gift, which many of us take for granted. Don’t focus on changing yourself, but rather changing some aspects of yourself.

What did I achieve?

2016 for me was probably the hardest year yet, certain family issues were fresh from 2015 as my Dad had walked out on me and my Mum in late December. Things were certainly hard, it was a whole new learning curve for me! I was living with my Mum, in a country which we had no-one- I was ultimately alone.

I had never had a good relationship with my Father, it hurt, him leaving but what hurt most was seeing my mum so down for so long. I felt responsible for it all, sometimes I still do. However, I would not change anything which happened. That year allowed my Mum to escape a very toxic relationship, and have a shot at happiness. I genuinely thought for years, that would be something she would never obtain.

As the year progressed, things perked up. Mum started smiling more, and things began looking up for me too. I had started my last two years at high school, I had great friends, a boyfriend which I adored and I wasn’t so alone anymore. It was still a tender subject to mention my Dad, but I was being introduced to a Mum I wasn’t used to, a happier one. This life seemed to be one I had desperately wanted since I was a child, there wasn’t a need to pretend to be happy anymore- I genuinely was.

Seven perfect months flew by, that was until we had to move from Australia. A place which I had grew to love unconditionally, a place which I had spent half of my life. Things felt worse, my world was ripped from beneath me. I am still learning how to cope with the change, adjusting to the country, making new friends, being away from the old ones and being away from my boyfriend, too.

I don’t have the support which I had so desperately leant on for the past eight months, so for me personally, 2017 will be one of progress.

I certainly don’t wish to be a new me, because, despite all of that, each heartbreak and lesson I endured allowed me to be the person I am today.

So please remember, each year you are blessed with is an accomplishment. Reflect on how far you’ve come, and plan to where you want to go. Don’t build yourself DOWN by focusing solely on your flaws, but build yourself UP by accepting them. Use them to encourage yourself throughout the new year and more importantly, use them to grow as a person.

Much love.