Category Archives: decision making

Situations aren’t stratifications of your future ambitions.

What can I say? We have certainly all experienced a bad situation which you feel is quite literally the end of the world. Whether that situation is: an argument with a loved one, the loss of a loved one or even an unfortunate event which has happened to you.  The only thing that occupies your head space from that exact moment is this: how will I move on?

Now, this exact moment is a major deciding factor in the arrangement of your future ambitions. How you decide to move on from a situation defines you as a person, HOWEVER, it does not define your destiny.  This is something that so many people are unaware of. They aim to try and forget what has happened to them, choosing just carry on as normal- but I cannot stress enough how wrong that is.

When faced with a bad situation, choosing to forget what happened discourages your growth as a person. We have challenges in life to learn from them, every single situation is a learning curve- choosing to forget what has happened to you makes you unprepared for future experiences.

Recently, I have been faced with a lot of these moments- how you react to situations certainly defines you as a person. Attitude is key to everything you do, no matter how tough the situation is, the most important thing to remember is this: situations do not define your destiny. 

The person who has the power to enable self-growth and turn situations into reflections and reflections into lessons is no one else but yourself. Stop waiting for things to get better over time. Time does not heal. It is the reflection during the time which enables us as humans to grow and prosper in the different challenge after challenge that life chooses to throw at us.

Think about every little thing. Write it down if you have to. But do not choose to forget a chapter in your life, no matter how dark it may be. Think of your life like a book. Each chapter develops a character further and further, so by the end of the book- the story has been told, the problems have been resolved and the character is fully satisfied with every single aspect of them as a person.

 You are the author of your own story– you have the power to grow and tell your situations to others. Lets put it simply like this: when your story ends, don’t you want to be fully satisfied too?

 

 

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An explanation of absence- defined by yours truly.

I cannot apologise enough for the absence of writing on my blog. However, I certainly have achieved a lot in these past however many months it has been. For me, my main focus was to finally pop the little bubble I had enclosed myself in for the past several months. I avoided many things: socialising, exercise, family and even myself at times; so much so that I was on continued auto-pilot for a solid seven months. 

That was until I finally managed to escape from it all- even myself.

I took a trip back home and certainly learned a lot in the process.

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It allowed me to not only escape but upon returning the absence gave me vital knowledge for the expansion of my so called bubble. Upon returning to the UK after 8 years in Australia, I had realised- for the seven months I had no interest in giving my life a chance; my sole focus was on where I would be living in the next four years if the word “Australia” wasn’t included, I wasn’t interested. It really was that simple.

The absence allowed me to reflect on time itself. Did I really want to live four miserable years just so I knew for certain I would live in Australia one day?  Now I’m giving myself a chance to actually live for the next four years; knowing that where ever I end up- I never took my life for granted. 

Living between two countries for most my life provides you with the knowledge that you can adjust to either one and always have a life there no matter what. Why did it take me seven months to realise that the friends I had made in Australia would be life long? 

I recently stumbled across a saying:

“It is not distance that seperates us, but the silence itself” 

Which hit me harder than I thought. How many of you have friends that live within a close proximity that you haven’t seen for three, four or five months? Maybe even longer. It is true that the best of friends can pick up right where they left off, but that is not due to how close they live together or the fact that every six months they find themselves in the same room- but its rather due to the fact that now, there is communication. I promise you, if you can beat the silence in any relationship over whatever period of time-  it will last.

Now I’m giving myself a chance to actually live for the next four years; knowing that where ever I end up- I never did take my life for granted.

 

 

 

 

Why are romantic relationships all everyone ever talks about?

It hit me the other day. Sitting down on a bench, eating my lunch on my break- watching the endless crowds of people rush by. Everyone is always so emersed in their own worlds.

Everywhere I looked, the focus was on love. Couples holding hands, kissing, hugging, buying gifts for each other. Then again, it was the month of Valentines.

But why is the focus always on romantic relationships and encounters?

Even the single people complain about not having romance during February- but there are so many things which are so important for you to have in your life. Don’t get me wrong, being in a relationship gives you a great sense of fulfilment. But to give everything to a relationship- you need to be in a sound state of mind.

And I can tell you if you are missing the following- it is almost impossible to achieve.

Support: Support is key from EVERY angle. Work, education, family life, friend circle or wherever can provide it. Without support, we can almost certainly become extremely isolated- not only physically with others, but with oneself.

Family: It is how families are supposed to naturally work, there is a person whoever that may be a mother, father, sibling or even grandparents who should be able to give you some sort of influence in your life. A family is a big part of how we grow as a person, without it can seriously affect your emotional well-being. If there are any current issues in your family life, however big or small, think long and hard about it. Holding hatred is so much more work than accepting love.

Social life: This is essential. I cannot express this enough. Sometimes to go forward in social scenarios, we must put ourselves out there, for me that is so hard. Exposing my true self, makes me feel so vulnerable! But the more I do it, the easier it gets.

Physical exercise: Is something I am seriously lacking, due to a current lack of motivation. But it is a great time to clear your head and release endorphins which literally make you feel refreshed afterwards. Start small, 15 minutes and work yourself up.

Goals and aspirations: Set the tiniest of goals to give yourself some self-pride! However small they are, they eventually lead to bigger goals. Any step forward is progress.

Direction: Question yourself. Where do you want to be in a year? 2 years? 5 years? You have the power to change your life, the only person stopping yourself from changing is yourself.

 

Why New years resolutions are probably the most belittling time of year.

“New year, new me” is probably a phrase you will hear too often, from people who evidently don’t learn from any mistakes or life lessons which they receive. I personally look at January in a completely different perspective, I see it as a time of reflection of my previous year; rather than wanting to be a completely different person than I was in the last.

I tend to focus on what happened that year, good or bad, and see how I reacted to each situation. I commend myself for my growth each year because that is the only way I can move onwards in my life. Each year is a gift, which many of us take for granted. Don’t focus on changing yourself, but rather changing some aspects of yourself.

What did I achieve?

2016 for me was probably the hardest year yet, certain family issues were fresh from 2015 as my Dad had walked out on me and my Mum in late December. Things were certainly hard, it was a whole new learning curve for me! I was living with my Mum, in a country which we had no-one- I was ultimately alone.

I had never had a good relationship with my Father, it hurt, him leaving but what hurt most was seeing my mum so down for so long. I felt responsible for it all, sometimes I still do. However, I would not change anything which happened. That year allowed my Mum to escape a very toxic relationship, and have a shot at happiness. I genuinely thought for years, that would be something she would never obtain.

As the year progressed, things perked up. Mum started smiling more, and things began looking up for me too. I had started my last two years at high school, I had great friends, a boyfriend which I adored and I wasn’t so alone anymore. It was still a tender subject to mention my Dad, but I was being introduced to a Mum I wasn’t used to, a happier one. This life seemed to be one I had desperately wanted since I was a child, there wasn’t a need to pretend to be happy anymore- I genuinely was.

Seven perfect months flew by, that was until we had to move from Australia. A place which I had grew to love unconditionally, a place which I had spent half of my life. Things felt worse, my world was ripped from beneath me. I am still learning how to cope with the change, adjusting to the country, making new friends, being away from the old ones and being away from my boyfriend, too.

I don’t have the support which I had so desperately leant on for the past eight months, so for me personally, 2017 will be one of progress.

I certainly don’t wish to be a new me, because, despite all of that, each heartbreak and lesson I endured allowed me to be the person I am today.

So please remember, each year you are blessed with is an accomplishment. Reflect on how far you’ve come, and plan to where you want to go. Don’t build yourself DOWN by focusing solely on your flaws, but build yourself UP by accepting them. Use them to encourage yourself throughout the new year and more importantly, use them to grow as a person.

Much love.