Situations aren’t stratifications of your future ambitions.

What can I say? We have certainly all experienced a bad situation which you feel is quite literally the end of the world. Whether that situation is: an argument with a loved one, the loss of a loved one or even an unfortunate event which has happened to you.  The only thing that occupies your head space from that exact moment is this: how will I move on?

Now, this exact moment is a major deciding factor in the arrangement of your future ambitions. How you decide to move on from a situation defines you as a person, HOWEVER, it does not define your destiny.  This is something that so many people are unaware of. They aim to try and forget what has happened to them, choosing just carry on as normal- but I cannot stress enough how wrong that is.

When faced with a bad situation, choosing to forget what happened discourages your growth as a person. We have challenges in life to learn from them, every single situation is a learning curve- choosing to forget what has happened to you makes you unprepared for future experiences.

Recently, I have been faced with a lot of these moments- how you react to situations certainly defines you as a person. Attitude is key to everything you do, no matter how tough the situation is, the most important thing to remember is this: situations do not define your destiny. 

The person who has the power to enable self-growth and turn situations into reflections and reflections into lessons is no one else but yourself. Stop waiting for things to get better over time. Time does not heal. It is the reflection during the time which enables us as humans to grow and prosper in the different challenge after challenge that life chooses to throw at us.

Think about every little thing. Write it down if you have to. But do not choose to forget a chapter in your life, no matter how dark it may be. Think of your life like a book. Each chapter develops a character further and further, so by the end of the book- the story has been told, the problems have been resolved and the character is fully satisfied with every single aspect of them as a person.

 You are the author of your own story– you have the power to grow and tell your situations to others. Lets put it simply like this: when your story ends, don’t you want to be fully satisfied too?

 

 

An explanation of absence- defined by yours truly.

I cannot apologise enough for the absence of writing on my blog. However, I certainly have achieved a lot in these past however many months it has been. For me, my main focus was to finally pop the little bubble I had enclosed myself in for the past several months. I avoided many things: socialising, exercise, family and even myself at times; so much so that I was on continued auto-pilot for a solid seven months. 

That was until I finally managed to escape from it all- even myself.

I took a trip back home and certainly learned a lot in the process.

DSCN0035.jpg

It allowed me to not only escape but upon returning the absence gave me vital knowledge for the expansion of my so called bubble. Upon returning to the UK after 8 years in Australia, I had realised- for the seven months I had no interest in giving my life a chance; my sole focus was on where I would be living in the next four years if the word “Australia” wasn’t included, I wasn’t interested. It really was that simple.

The absence allowed me to reflect on time itself. Did I really want to live four miserable years just so I knew for certain I would live in Australia one day?  Now I’m giving myself a chance to actually live for the next four years; knowing that where ever I end up- I never took my life for granted. 

Living between two countries for most my life provides you with the knowledge that you can adjust to either one and always have a life there no matter what. Why did it take me seven months to realise that the friends I had made in Australia would be life long? 

I recently stumbled across a saying:

“It is not distance that seperates us, but the silence itself” 

Which hit me harder than I thought. How many of you have friends that live within a close proximity that you haven’t seen for three, four or five months? Maybe even longer. It is true that the best of friends can pick up right where they left off, but that is not due to how close they live together or the fact that every six months they find themselves in the same room- but its rather due to the fact that now, there is communication. I promise you, if you can beat the silence in any relationship over whatever period of time-  it will last.

Now I’m giving myself a chance to actually live for the next four years; knowing that where ever I end up- I never did take my life for granted.

 

 

 

 

Why is the world just one big problem to solve?

I cannot begin to tell you the endless amount of problems I seem to make for myself lately. Which as a result, seems to send my mood in a sky rocketing downfall. But sometimes, I am not entirely to blame. Shall I tell you why?

Things which happen in my day-to-day lifestyle, tend to make me quite upset. Today for example, was probably one of the most upsetting days for me and  for once it wasn’t me which had caused it.

I began to notice what type of world we live in.

I see it everyday, it is just some days I chose to ignore it. Doesn’t everyone?

The endless amount of people, so engrossed into their own lives (including myself).  Mothers and fathers  who are too busy on their phones to notice their children exploring and finding themselves. Men and women constantly oppressing each other, and setting stereotypes for the other to follow. Just today, whilst I was working- a man had asked me to explain to a young boy, no older than six, why flavoured lip balm was for girls. I simply couldn’t do it. I couldn’t look the boy in the eyes and tell him that he couldn’t get something his sister was getting simply because it was a belief that he couldn’t.

Why do we do that as a society? We ask children what they want to be when they grow up, but we set them rules and standards which they have to adhere to. This wasnt lip gloss, or lipstick it was lip balm. A coca-cola flavoured lip balm. But, so what if it was? At age 6 the mind is so open. He just wanted to be included with his sister.

Gender equality is just the tip of the iceberg of problems which we are choosing to ignore. Racial discrimination, environmental issues, wars and the list could continue to go on and on.

What bothers me is that when did it become so normal to be so self indulged? For once, I’d like to hear something good. Maybe it’s me just focusing on the negatives, but I just see a world where children are wishing their childhoods away, wanting to grow up without realising that experiencing childhood is what makes you do exactly that. Maybe they do so because they have parents which are too controlling or neglectful forcing them to grow up way earlier before their time.Or just maybe they actually have a perfect family, but society tells them they aren’t perfect. I see a world where women and men still aren’t equal in society, and people chose to view a feminist as a misandrist or misogynist. I see a world where even still, people are frowned upon because of their ethnicity or class. I see a world where countless numbers of animal species are becoming extinct and global warming is taking its toll but then I also see people who are still choosing to be blissfully ignorant to all the above. I see a world that will not last much longer as we are fuelling is with hatred rather than compassion and love.

So sometimes when people tell me:

“You control your own happiness!”

Just know that is truly not the case. I am one of those people, I think we all are or have been at some point. The first step is noticing that there are changes to be made.

Why are romantic relationships all everyone ever talks about?

It hit me the other day. Sitting down on a bench, eating my lunch on my break- watching the endless crowds of people rush by. Everyone is always so emersed in their own worlds.

Everywhere I looked, the focus was on love. Couples holding hands, kissing, hugging, buying gifts for each other. Then again, it was the month of Valentines.

But why is the focus always on romantic relationships and encounters?

Even the single people complain about not having romance during February- but there are so many things which are so important for you to have in your life. Don’t get me wrong, being in a relationship gives you a great sense of fulfilment. But to give everything to a relationship- you need to be in a sound state of mind.

And I can tell you if you are missing the following- it is almost impossible to achieve.

Support: Support is key from EVERY angle. Work, education, family life, friend circle or wherever can provide it. Without support, we can almost certainly become extremely isolated- not only physically with others, but with oneself.

Family: It is how families are supposed to naturally work, there is a person whoever that may be a mother, father, sibling or even grandparents who should be able to give you some sort of influence in your life. A family is a big part of how we grow as a person, without it can seriously affect your emotional well-being. If there are any current issues in your family life, however big or small, think long and hard about it. Holding hatred is so much more work than accepting love.

Social life: This is essential. I cannot express this enough. Sometimes to go forward in social scenarios, we must put ourselves out there, for me that is so hard. Exposing my true self, makes me feel so vulnerable! But the more I do it, the easier it gets.

Physical exercise: Is something I am seriously lacking, due to a current lack of motivation. But it is a great time to clear your head and release endorphins which literally make you feel refreshed afterwards. Start small, 15 minutes and work yourself up.

Goals and aspirations: Set the tiniest of goals to give yourself some self-pride! However small they are, they eventually lead to bigger goals. Any step forward is progress.

Direction: Question yourself. Where do you want to be in a year? 2 years? 5 years? You have the power to change your life, the only person stopping yourself from changing is yourself.

 

Why New years resolutions are probably the most belittling time of year.

“New year, new me” is probably a phrase you will hear too often, from people who evidently don’t learn from any mistakes or life lessons which they receive. I personally look at January in a completely different perspective, I see it as a time of reflection of my previous year; rather than wanting to be a completely different person than I was in the last.

I tend to focus on what happened that year, good or bad, and see how I reacted to each situation. I commend myself for my growth each year because that is the only way I can move onwards in my life. Each year is a gift, which many of us take for granted. Don’t focus on changing yourself, but rather changing some aspects of yourself.

What did I achieve?

2016 for me was probably the hardest year yet, certain family issues were fresh from 2015 as my Dad had walked out on me and my Mum in late December. Things were certainly hard, it was a whole new learning curve for me! I was living with my Mum, in a country which we had no-one- I was ultimately alone.

I had never had a good relationship with my Father, it hurt, him leaving but what hurt most was seeing my mum so down for so long. I felt responsible for it all, sometimes I still do. However, I would not change anything which happened. That year allowed my Mum to escape a very toxic relationship, and have a shot at happiness. I genuinely thought for years, that would be something she would never obtain.

As the year progressed, things perked up. Mum started smiling more, and things began looking up for me too. I had started my last two years at high school, I had great friends, a boyfriend which I adored and I wasn’t so alone anymore. It was still a tender subject to mention my Dad, but I was being introduced to a Mum I wasn’t used to, a happier one. This life seemed to be one I had desperately wanted since I was a child, there wasn’t a need to pretend to be happy anymore- I genuinely was.

Seven perfect months flew by, that was until we had to move from Australia. A place which I had grew to love unconditionally, a place which I had spent half of my life. Things felt worse, my world was ripped from beneath me. I am still learning how to cope with the change, adjusting to the country, making new friends, being away from the old ones and being away from my boyfriend, too.

I don’t have the support which I had so desperately leant on for the past eight months, so for me personally, 2017 will be one of progress.

I certainly don’t wish to be a new me, because, despite all of that, each heartbreak and lesson I endured allowed me to be the person I am today.

So please remember, each year you are blessed with is an accomplishment. Reflect on how far you’ve come, and plan to where you want to go. Don’t build yourself DOWN by focusing solely on your flaws, but build yourself UP by accepting them. Use them to encourage yourself throughout the new year and more importantly, use them to grow as a person.

Much love.

Why everyone who doesn’t love Christmas, isn’t a scrooge.

With it literally being 4 days until christmas, I think this is probably something which so desperately needs to be addressed.

Christmas is a time of togetherness, it is a time when families come together.

However, sometimes people don’t have a solidified family,  a place to sleep, food to eat or a sound state of mind to enjoy Christmas like everyone else. Sometimes, Christmas is a reminder to a lot of people: what they have lost, or what they don’t have.

That doesn’t mean that those people cannot enjoy Christmas all the same, it just means that you shouldn’t expect these people to be on your level of happy purely because it is Christmas. Many, many, many people have different opinions to how Christmas should be, and that is perfectly fine.

Just please take into consideration, that for some people Christmas is shadowed with immense feelings of grief.

Please be grateful for the Christmas you have, however big or small. I promise you, there are so many people worse off than you on christmas day.

My mind turns to war torn countries, soldiers who are away from their families, families who have recently experienced a loss or just someone who is currently experiencing a bad episode.

Whatever you gift this Christmas, whether that be money, toys etc,  PLEASE pass along love and prosperity to those who need it most and gratitude to those who may already have everything else. 

I wish everyone the best for the festive season, and that you have the happiest new year possible.

 

Time, probably the most bittersweet thing in existence.

Lately, a sudden realisation of the importance of time dawned on me. There isn’t enough of it, yet there is too much of it?

Let me explain.

So many people around me complain that there isn’t enough hours in the day, but also those same people complain to me that they want something to happen sooner. I get the differences in these situations, but something which really baffled me was that this is a serious contradictory statement. How can you want more presence of time, yet also want less of it? I am sure we are all guilty of it, but there are a few things to consider.

  1. Everyone is always busy at some point. People will always have certain tasks to do, plans to attend, obligations which take up some of their time. HOWEVER: I guarantee you that nobody has every minute of everyday scheduled for. Sometimes, to enjoy life- we mustn’t plan the things which aren’t needed to. So if you are guilty at over planning (like I am) take a step back sometimes, go with the flow. I assure you, you will find so much more happiness in the presence of time this way.
  2. Don’t accept the fact that as humans, we can’t make time too. This is SO important. I see it everyday, relationships, families and friendships which are being neglected because one or both people are too busy to make time for each other. Sometimes, people genuinely can’t make time for you because they are having a busy week. Respect that, don’t overreact because someone doesn’t have the time, just re-arrange for another date. HOWEVER- if you find yourself constantly rearranging, find somewhere else to invest your time, too.
  3. Finally, appreciate the importance of time- because we will never get more of it. Time is constantly running out, so it is your job to find the good and purity in each moment. Don’t let a bad 30 seconds of your hour ruin the other 23 hours which are within a day. Don’t let a bad day ruin the other six which are within a week. Don’t let a bad month ruin your year. Most importantly: don’t let a bad year ruin your outlook on life. 

I so desperately wish I could of made more use of the past months that I have experienced, but I also appreciate the fact that those months have helped me grow and develop in ways I am not aware of yet.

The only thing I can do now is take things day by day, because after all- each day is different than the next.